Who I Really Am
This week has shown me a lot of things about who I really am. How weak I am. How truly frail my faith is. I'm so very far from where I thought I was. It's amazing to me sometimes how much I fool myself. You woulda thought by now I'd have learned that there is nothing good in and of myself. My own advice is foolishness. I'm way too good at convicing myself and the people around me that I have it all figured out. I'd like to say that I would trust God with everything, but I don't. I get scared that He might tell me something I don't want to hear and so I pull away. When He tells me to do something, I don't have much of a choice... I have to obey. So I spent part of the week attempting to stay out of earshot. Which is dumb. Really dumb.
"The fear of man brings a snare, but those who trust in the Lord will be safe." Proverbs 29:25 I've foolishly stepped away from the safety net He's created for me. There is safety in the relationships that He's placed in my life. I need these people.. I need their counsel.
I guess the point is that I'm not going to change. Not this way anyway.. according to Hebrews 5:8 Christ learned obedience from the things that He suffered. If I choose to walk according to the same path He walked then I will learn obedience in that manner as well. Obedience requires discipline.. something I know I don't have right now. Something that I know He has to teach me. I can't change myself. He has to come in and change my very heart, the way that I view things, especially the way that I view HIM! There has to be something taken out of me to produce change. He's constantly bringing new things that need to change into the light.. but I hope it never stops.. it's a sign of His everlasting mercies that are new every morning. I used to think that "mercies new every morning" meant that I start each day with a clean, sinless slate.. but really His mercy is in showing me that I don't, and in allowing His Holy - really holy and perfect - Spirit to produce change in me. His mercy is in Him allowing me to discover who I really am.. and allowing me to become who He needs me to be.
2 comments:
wow. yeah, i always thought of "mercies new every morning" in the same way. and you put it so perfectly. his mercy is that we have a chance to change. and the newness everyday is a sign that it takes time. that it's a process and we have to grow everyday in him and allow him to grow in us.
I don't think it is as much becoming what God needs us to be as it is becoming what HE is calling us to be. God's call is for obedient children.
Phillipians 2:1-11
1 If there be therefore any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any bowels and mercies,
2 Fulfil ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind.
3 Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.
4 Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.
5 Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:
6 Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God:
7 But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men:
8 And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.
9 Wherefore God also hath highly exalted him, and given him a name which is above every name:
10 That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth;
11 And that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
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