So it's a day late..

Fifteen Good Things In My Life Right Now 1. God is faithful. Even when I am not. 2. My Family. I really am blessed with a couple of the most easygoing parents who love me dearly, and I love them. 3. A very sweet Kitty. She's sleeping under the Christmas tree right now. 4. Lovely rain. And being able to go to sleep at the sound of it. 5. Julie of the Wolves. It's a kids book that's been sitting on my shelf for years. I finally picked it up and read it. It's very good. 6. Nertz I just discovered it. It's lotsa fun. 7. Loaded Questions. We need to play that again. 8. Wonderful Church Family. You guys are more special to me that my real family. I really love all of you and I don't know what I'd do without you. 9. Soft Gloves. Thanks to Laurena. 10. Ginger Ale. That stuff is good. 11. Cough Syrup. There is no doubt in my mind that this stuff has actually saved my life multiple times in the past two days. Where would I be without it? 12. Christmas Trees. That people eventually discard so that we can decorate the yards of those we love. 13. Late night movies with friends. I love sitting in a theatre listening to my friends giggle. 14. IHOP I just remembered that we're eating there in the morning. 15. Sister Act. I'm watching it right now. It's a funny movie.

The Living Nightmare

Yes, it is 3:37 AM, and I am sitting here at the computer. It seems that this coughing has coaxed it's way into my chest. I was very happy going to sleep because for the few hours beforehand I coughed very little and I thought it was over.. but then... not long ago, my dreams were rudely interrupted. It was as if someone announced "You are about to die from the never-ending cough." I even saw those words scroll across the back of my eyelids. I then proceeded to wake up coughing violently, unable to stop. Let me tell you this is a frightening experience, especially preceeded by such a disturbing thought. I was gagging, with tears pouring down my face, wondering when it was going to end. I wondered to myself "Is it really possible to die this way? It would be horrible to die coughing." Five minutes later after draining my water bottle to no avail I decided that I wasn't dreaming, I am in fact awake, and I can do something about this. As I stumbled out of my room I felt like I was in a nightmare. I flipped on as many lights as I could as I made my way to the kitchen, hoping to dispel the dream. Still coughing uncontrollably I leaned over a drawer frantically searching for a teaspoon to measure out cough syrup. The seconds crawled by.. Finally I pulled the right one from the drawer. I went to pour the cough syrup but had to wait a few seconds for the coughing to pause for a moment so that I wouldn't spill any of it. I've never been more glad to drink the stuff. Usually I gag it down and can only dream of swallowing by the utmost willpower, but this time I literally licked the spoon off. To my suprise it actually tasted good . The coughing gradually subsided, much to Jordans delight. I must've woke her while still in my room because she came angrily stomping through the living room looking for the laptop to play music on and drown me out. I don't blame her. If I had to listen to someone coughing nonstop for 15 minutes straight I would get aggravated too.

I don't know why I decided to blog this.. I guess because it's one of the most frightening things that's happened to me in a long time. I swear I wrote it exactly as it happened. I'm actually afraid to go back to sleep. I'm certainly not going back to bed - lying down doesn't help. And I don't know what I'll do if it happens again because I can only take that cough syrup every 6 hours. I feel like I could be still dreaming, but if that were true then I'd either still be coughing or be dead.. in my dream that is. Well I'm exhausted now.. I'm sure this will all be very comical in the morning, just right now it seems so scary.

My Christmas Presents

I don't feel like trying to get our dumb camera to work, so this list will just have to do.

-The flu

From Poppy:
-A purple tape measure of my own so I don't have to steal his
-A "lifetime supply" of sugarfree gum (stocking stuffer)
-A very nifty little handheld power drill that packs a lot of power so that the next time I need one I don't have to try and use his huge heavy thing
-Some cash
-3-D car painting stuff (I wonder how we'll use that..?)

From Momma:
-My cordless tea kettle (YES!!!)

From Jordan:
-A awesome Paisley makeup/toiletries bag that's really cute
-The body scrub that goes with my perfume (mmm, it smells pretty)
-Some really pretty black beaded dangly earrings
-Two hair clips - a butterfly and a simple metal one

From my big sister Joy:
-Some angora socks
-A $25 gift card for Old Navy (she always knows just what to get us!!)
-An amazingly soft blanket that she really gave to the whole family but she said I got first dibs 'cause I'm sick.. haha!

From Laurena:
-A really pretty fleece scarf
-Very nice fleece gloves
-Avon lip balm that works really good
-A cutems nail file

From Deanna:
-GingerAle that is very good (by the way I forgot to give you your Christmas present when you were here. I'll get it to you as soon as I get better)

From the Lord:
-The best family in the whole world (that includes my church family!)

I miss you guys. I feel like I haven't seen Bob and Sharon in forever. Hopefully I'll be over this soon so we can get together this week!

Merry Christmas to me!

I've decided that I'm going to go swallow some Lysol.. Since it only kills the flu virus. Hahaha.. I haven't had the flu since elementary school. I don't remember - how long does this last??

Being sick seems to have one benefit so far - no one skipped me in Phase 10 so I won!

I'm going back to bed. See you all later - Have a Merry Christmas!

Picky..? Me?

Fifteen food things I'm picky about 1. Popcorn. Every now and then while watching a movie you'll see me with popcorn, and a cup. You can eat all the crunchy parts of the popcorn kernel off then save the softer middle part. I like to get a whole cupfull then eat it all at once. It's kind of like chewing styrafoam actually. But it's something I've done for a long time. I like it. 2. Pickles. It takes me HOURS to eat just one large pickle. I usually only get them when I'm at a movie and I usually don't finish them because it takes so long to eat them. I have to take little bitty bites and suck all the juice out of that section, then eat the seeds, take a little bite and.... okay I'm stopping there.. if I keep going you'll all make fun of me. There are several more steps to this process. 3. Best part last. Always. Some examples: Burgers - outside in, so I don't end up with an all bread bite, Chex mix - always eat the pretzels (who wants those?) first then work you way through 'til only the Chex are left. But I do it with everything - just watch me eat, you'll find out what I like best. 4. Cereal. I always have to make the milk to cereal ratio equal. I hate having to drink warm cereal milk, and I can't throw it out because my parents have drilled into me not to waste food. 5. I pick around the things I don't like. Who doesn't? 6. Forks. Why do they give you two sizes? You only need one. The big one. For some reason it annoys my dad to no end that I prefer the larger fork. I have to be in strange form to eat with the smaller one. 7. Ice Cream. It's so much more fun to eat it with a different sort of spoon. Ever since we were little Jordan and I have done this. We used to steal the measuring spoons or the melon baller to eat ice cream with. Or when you go to Baskin Robbins and get the little tasting spoon, it's more fun to eat your ice cream with that. I think it's meant to be savored, and that always helps me to savor it. 8. Straws... I'm reluctant to put this one on here.. apparently I stick my tongue out a little bit when I drink through a straw. Forget you ever read this! 9. Tony's. Can't eat a baked potato without it! 10. Doritos. I always save the ones with the most seasoning for last, and on occasion I'll take a bite, get all of the spices off, then chew it. 11. Nachos. I always eat all the chips with no cheese first. 12. Funyuns. I eat all the broken ones first. 13. Make the good stuff last. If I get a sald or pasta with only a certain amount of meat or whatever in it, then I cut it up and eat carefully so that the last bite has just as much stuff as the first did, so I can enjoy it all the way through. I do it with Cane's sauce.. 14. Gross! If it looks gross, smells gross, has a gross name.. I won't eat it if I can avoid hurting someones feelings. 15. Fill in the blank. I know there has to be something that some of you have noticed about the things I'm picky about. I'm testing you now... how well do you really know me??

..Do you hear what I hear?

Fifteen of the most annoying sounds I'm gonna try and do these in order.. 1. One. Fork scraping a table/teeth/plate 2. Two. Twiddling of thumbs in a very quiet place - you'd have to hear it to know what I'm talking about 3. Three. SMACKING!! Especially in the confines of a car. 4. Four. An overly chipper voice - or song - to wake me up. Please.. let me take out my wrath on the alarm clock. There's no use getting offended when you try to wake me up nice.. I don't respond well. I am not a morning person, so don't expect me to be bright as the sunshine when you wake me with the Hallelujah chorus.. 5. Five. Listening to someone eat when it's very quiet. Even if they have their mouth closed it can be torturous. I can't even listen to myself eat - there has to be something to either distract me or drown it out. 6. Six. That "do-do-do" three tone sound that is always very loud in your ear when you've called the wrong number, or a disconnected number. Why do they feel it necessary to do it so many times? 7. Seven. My mothers' chair squeaking. My home church will know about this one. 8. Eight. That high pitched squealing sound that the hot water makes after it's been on for a while. It's really bad in the tub or shower for some reason. 9. Nine. The beep of my alarm. But at least with that I don't have to apologize for smacking it a few times when it goes off. 10. Ten. My parents ringtone after I've already heard it at least 4 times in the past hour. 11. Eleven. The "squeak, bang! squeak, bang! squeak, bang!" of the filter trap door in our pool when the pump isn't on. The waves always disturb it and it makes the most irritating noise. We always stuff something in there to make it quit. 12. Twelve. "hello..? Hello..? Hello...?" I have absolutely no tolerance for someone who sits on their cell phone and says the same thing over, and over when the thing is obviously not working. It makes me want to scream for some reason. 13. Thirteen. Those crazy-enthusiastic car sales ads. They are convinced that screaming at you is the only way to sell you a car. I wonder if they would do it that way if you showed up in the lot? What if you asked them to? The next person who buys a car has to tell them that they won't buy it unless it's sold to them "commercial style" 14. Fourteen. Have you ever heard a mechanical pencil squeak on paper? If not, it has the same effect as nails on a chalkboard. 15. Fifteen. A skipping CD. Our CD player is having the problem right now where it will make a brand new CD skip or repeat the same sentence, phrase, or syllable over and over and over. As soon as you put it in another player it's fine though. So far I've only hit the device once.

Haha! I was first! I just happened to wake up, and figured I'd go ahead and do this..

You know what's fun?

Making very loud chicken noises when you're in the house all by yourself.

Oh hush!

No I haven't posted.. at least where you all can see it! Muahaha!

I have been busy. I did a power point for my moms' best friends' wedding, and I've been working on various projects that needed to be done, with yet more to do. I really shouldn't be sitting here right now. But because you all can't stop your whining... here I am. ;)

I've just been pondering over some things - I haven't fully processed it all yet, but soon.. we'll see.

I don't know what else I can say. I've sat here staring at the screen for the past couple of minutes trying to think of something though!

See you tonight!

Cause I can’t see how these pieces of my life can rhyme

That's a line from a poem that I read just a minute ago..

Jesus show me the signs

one at a time

'Cause I can’t see how

these pieces of my life can rhyme

I dunno if this'll ever make it as more than a draft in my blog, so I don't really care what I write here.

Isn't there a way for the Lord to just wipe my memory clean? Well even if He did I don't think it would help much in this instance, unless He wanted to skin me alive. What is your past worth? Is it necessary or relevant under the cross? Does the cross just intensify the necessity to share it? Is that the only way people will see how far He's taken you? How far do you take it in relationship? Is that a part of growing in a Godly relationship? Before, I would've said yes.. but that was before I was saved. I just wanted to glorify myself or draw attention. But that's the last thing I want now. Before.. I would've said you didn't know me unless you knew what I came out of. But does that crud even matter now? Is it enough to just let them know me as I am now? Or would I be cheating them by keeping silent? I DON'T KNOW!!! I just don't know.. maybe I like it better that way. The longer I don't know the better.. I'm afraid of the answers. I'm keeping the noise level just loud enough so I can't hear His reply, if there even is one.

Ya know.. I never told Nan. Maybe she guessed. Maybe she just knew. Why bring it up now? What good would it do? It would answer these questions.. But I'd sound like an idiot.. because here I am being dumb, not letting myself get still enough to hear what the Lord has to say. Bob tells us all the time "I know God talks to ya'll.." But I honestly don't know if I'd be able to determine His voice from my own desires right now. I'd need to hear what others thought before I acted. Is that right? What do I do...?

Tomorrow

Warning Jamie: This is rather long. But Holly will enjoy it I'm sure.

I sat alone in the moonlight,
And thought me of today-
Of the joys and the sorrows
That had come along the way.
Mistakes I had made
Ugly and bold
Marred the picture there.
Words I had said, things I had told
Were recorded in life's long book.

It was with trembling heart I beheld them,
And sorrowing turned away-
And looked for the joy of tomorrow
When I was given a brand new day.
A day that lay untouched
By the sad mistakes of today-
Where I could change the picture
And travel a different way.

Before me was spread tomorrow,
Waiting for a story to write
Behind me was today,
As I looked on it tonight.
A day of promise, new and fresh
Was opening before my eyes
And I stood, afraid to enter
Lest I should mar it's rise.

What could I do to keep
Tomorrow, so beautiful and bright-
How could I, with joy,
Tomorrow's story write?
I had not the strength or power
Needed to complete the task
And make Tomorrow a day
A joyful memory at last.


Oh Lord, Our God above,
It is you to whom we cry-
Grant me strength to live tomorrow
And not let another day go by
That is filled with sad mistakes
I could have left undone
Had I but claimed your promises,
For you will forsake no one.

Tomorrow, guide my stumbling feet,
Direct me in my way.
Teach me how to live today
That looking back tomorrow I
I will have no regrets to pine,
Nor greet the fading of the day
With an aching heart of Sorrow
That I have fallen from your way.

And when I come to tomorrow,
May I rejoice to see
That your hand is guiding, leading on
Your life shining out in me.

By Chantel Harding

Pathetic-ness

This is a picture of our pathetic tree. No it's not pathetic because it's little.. It's huge! Well kinda.. it's fat. And the tree itself is pretty. But the decorations.. uuuhhh.. The "theme" is supposed to be bright red and white. It has 400 white lights and 200 red lights in it. We spray painted some old eucalyptus white and sprinkled it with glitter. Then it has some little white feathers in it. We think it looks like a (male) peacock attacked it. It's a little better since I took off the red-white stripe bows. But not much better.. I dunno what to do. There's nothing all that unique about it, and that bugs me. If anybody has any ideas, they'd certainly be welcome.

Oh frustration.

I'm about to order Bobs' Christmas present.

Under the same sky

Jordan and I just spent the last hour and half bundled on the hood of her car. We ventured down a moonlit road where there was no sign of civilzation except for the cows we later discovered in the distance. As we sat on the edge of an open field with a leafless tree in the center of it... we prayed.. I'm still recovering from the chill despite all the clothes and blankets.

There was a sparkling coat of frost dusting everything around us. As we first stepped out of the car we met with the strong musk of fresh hay. There was a rustling of leaves across the street. But we decided to ignore it and drown it out with the "Watching the stars worship" CD we made. We began to pray. I'm not even sure how to describe it. I can tell you perfectly what the surroundings were like, but I cannot come up with even a word to describe the next hour. It was unlike any prayer meeting I've ever been in. There is not a word to describe it.

We finally laid back to stare at the night sky. As I gazed aimlessly the thought ocurred to me that this was the same night sky the the prophets stared into. Under this sky Abraham was told that his descendents would outnumber the stars. Under this sky Moses and the Israelites escaped Egypt led by a pillar of fire. This is the same moon that David wrote Psalms about. Under this sky our Lord prayed and taught his disciples. Surely they stared into the same moon, marveling at the wonder of our Gods' creation. For breif moments it was as if there was no time. I don't know how but it made the distant stories I've heard all my life so real, even tangible. It didn't matter that these things happened on opposite hemispheres... How amazing to stare into the same moon that my Saviour once looked into?

What a priveledge to be counted as a descendent of Abraham. For Him.. every star was a promise... Every star a promise of God..