To follow the collective theme...

I know Bob makes fun of us for our blogs because really it just becomes this big conversation between all of us. But I love that about it.. Just like when we're all sitting around talking and we each throw in our two cents, we do the same thing here. So now I continue the theme of fellowship..

BJ was talking about the lack of fellowship and the effect that has.. Just to let you know, you're not the only one who feels that way! What has happened to me that fellowship got so low on my list? It just hasn't been the same. Last night was so.. refreshing. The last time we had sweet worship, sweet prayer like that was when we slip-n-slid. There was a precious union of hearts, a tearing down of walls, last night. It used to be that I couldn't wait to be with my real family.. What changed? I am a firm believer that "In the multitude of counsel there is safety." It's one of my favorite verses.. It's repeated in Proverbs over and over. When I am in fellowship with people who love me, really love me, regardless of the fact that my mouth is too big, and my attitude can really stink, and all that.. when I'm in fellowship with them there is safety. Which would mean that outside of that I am putting myself in danger. So for me, lack of fellowship is dangerous. It is lack of light, and in the darkness I stumble..

Then Lauren and I have been discussing our responsibility to stay in fellowship with those outside our home churches and very close circle of friends. I so easily forget how much I love some people, and how much I miss them, until I see them again. It's so silly that there are 7 nights in a week, and I spend MAYBE 2 in fellowship with someone. I used to have a Tuesday night with Nan and Penny, and Wednesday night with Mrs. Sharon and Holly.. But even that.. even that isn't enough.. If my priority is not fellowship in the light, then what is it? Really I have to question myself.. if I don't want fellowship in the light, if I'm not craving it, then what am I craving? What is the opposite of light?... Darkness.. It's scary to think that outside of fellowship there is darkness.. and scarier still to see how easily I slip out of fellowship.. slip out of the light.

The cry of my heart right now..? Change my heart, my desires to be after His and His alone..